American Waste

Can you tell what this black mass is?

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Where's George?

This has been around since like 1998, but if anyone wants to try something really fun and they haven't seen it yet, check out this site:

Sports Dignity!

Not as dignified as they want it to be.

Many pictures are NSFC.

Stunning Paper Sculptures

How Many Condoms Can Your Put on A Penis?

A lot more than that! (This is NSFC if you don't want your kids to see a photo of a dildo not currently in use.)

Brought to you by the same people that tested for the perfect jello shots.

A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the USA:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up "revocation" in the OxfordEnglish Dictionary.

1. Then look up "aluminum," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary.")

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for you own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. The Former USAwill adopt UKprices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") -- roughly $6/U.S. gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer, at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywoodwill be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywoodwill also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies.)

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game not played outside of America. Since only 21% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all moneys due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese

WalMart is Evil

It's destroyed smaller stores and is helping to kill our economy.

Here's the full story.

Thousand-hand Bodhisattva Dance

Stunning dance - I wanted to keep watching.

Would probably look even cooler stoned.

She Scares Small Children And Animals!!!

RUN FROM THIS CREATURE FOR SHE WILL SMITE YOU WITH HER HOLY RANTINGS!!!



Link gives you just a taste of the Trading Spouses episode she blessed with her lovely presence. I am currently downloading the episode via Torrent to see this soft rose petal in her entirety. I am half-frightened and half-laughing-my-heathenous-ass-off.

PS: I found a longer clip from the show that I freshened the link to. It appears to be the last few minutes of the show and it's her ranting all over her house and her family trying to calm her down, and at some point the oldest daughter is in tears and the granddaughter is trying to be comforted by this lunatic's husband. Apparently there is money involved in this episode (I had only ever watched one before this, and it didn't involve money), and this lady is screaming about how it's tainted and she doesn't want it. Funny how she changed her mind and took the money without trouble later on.

Pimp Your Kid's Ride

Never Date a Psycho's Ex-Wife: Reason #89

Click for more pics.

Paris Hilton: One Face to Rule Them All

Okay, you seriously have to see this. Just trust me.

Then someone find a fucking gun and kill her. Or me. Preferrably her. Thank you.

Blue Ball Machine!

Clicky clicky!

OMG, I am so hot for this guy right now

You know you want to see what gets me hot.